Kindness? What’s That!

This is one belief I keep reiterating to my friends and family members frequently --- ‘For success in life, just follow the Class-I Moral Science book!’ Before you, the reader, thwart my belief, let me divulge to you that I have no takers for this assessment of mine. The reason being that we are all conditioned to believe that things we love, success included, are arduous to achieve. You ought to toil incessantly and put in many years of hard work with no guarantee that your dream will come true. What I intend to emphasize is that simple words you learnt as a toddler can transform your life for the better! These words are --- ‘BE KIND’! For success in life, all you have to do and be is to develop into a kinder person. The rest you will receive through blessings you earn from others and your own honesty in living your life according to the Law of the Universe. The rest will be magic!

Hey! Look around carefully and you will be able to locate many ‘unkind’ people around you. They are NOT ‘cruel’ people but they lack basic kindness --- irrespective of whether they are educated or illiterate individuals.

What is Kindness?

Kindness has several layers of meanings. It has different connotations depending upon a given situation, thought, person or intention. For instance, kindness would mean ‘to be completely aware’. If you are kind, you will really ‘listen’ to people when they converse with you, intently following every detail they may be disclosing.

Mr. Raj received a phone call from his mother while he was driving. His first reaction was to ignore the call and call back later, say, after an hour when he was home. However, pestered by his wife, he parked the car on the side of the road and lovingly spoke to his mother. A couple of hours later, the phone rang again, informing him about the demise of his mother who died of severe heart attack! A little kindness and patience on his part saved Mr. Raj a lifetime of repentance.

Here is another example. Mr. Kumar enters a high profile party and just when he came across his colleagues, they began enquiring and discussing about his recent illness in public. The topic made Mr. Kumar uneasy and yet all the jokes and anecdotes were centred around his affliction. These individuals, though well-read and high on the ranks were not behaving kindly.

Who are these Kind People?

Kind individuals believe in the dignity of all living beings --- human beings and animals. They always treat everyone well, avoid telling a lie, are helpful without always focusing on their own profit. They are ‘givers’, compassionate beings --- always radiating positive energy through noble actions, empowering and encouraging words. They never belittle others, are not revengeful and are always careful of their thoughts, words and deeds, readily forgiving others for their misgivings. Kindness is not meekness. Instead, it is a way of respecting the self for leading a more peaceful life. Kind individuals try not to cling to the past or future and live in the present moment. They are nice to the poor and the needy, children and elders alike. They lead a disciplined life avoiding excessive judgement of others’ behaviour and focusing on their own personal and professional improvement. They respect their own time as well as that of others. They reside in clean surroundings and are open to new suggestions and opinions from others.

You will seldom find them angry or irritated. Kind individuals do not view others as separate and display genuine concern for the welfare and well being of others. They are learnable and welcome any change more easily. They smile more often as they harbour prayerful and serene thoughts throughout their working hours. They offer their work to the Almighty, surrender the fruits of their labour to Him and just move on securely with faith and confidence. They are unperturbed by success and failure, displaying equanimity even while wading their way through dark waters. This is why they are able to motivate others during trying and turbulent times. They know for sure, ‘This, too, shall pass away.’

Kind people show selflessness, let go easily and are devoid of ego. With practice and self-control, they have conquered vices such as jealousy, arrogance and anger, see the good in others and always tend to uplift other individuals around them. They harp upon what they can do for others and how they can be of use, without any expectations of receiving anything in return. They have risen above material accumulations and passion for their work or love for their family and friends is their real legacy.

Are YOU Kind?

If you are a happy individual, chances are that you are also a kind individual. If you can share a portion from your own time, money and material, you must be a kind person. If you can be happy for someone else’s achievements and display compassion for someone who is ‘down and out’ due to failed health or loss in business etc., you must be a nice person. If you look at someone and greet him/her with a happy twinkle in your eyes, not because he may be of help to you someday and is a big name but because you recognize him and just felt glad to meet him, you are a kind and nice person. If you adjust some rules so that someone may be more comfortable, you must be a kind person. If you can leave others happy and better after they have spoken to you, you qualify as a kind angel on this Earth.

The world needs more of such people today to assure and uplift others and to bolster the belief that goodness and kindness prevail even today in the world so choked with strife. Kindness, honesty and integrity from one person can actually kick start a chain reaction of goodness --- enough to diffuse hatred and warfare in any corner on Earth. Now, isn’t kindness a powerful word? 

Look for the Good in Others

The following verse can serve as a reference point on how to lead your life ---

"Sarve Bhavantu Sukhinah, 
Sarve santu niramaya
Sarve Bhadrani Pashyantu, 
Ma Kaschid Dhukhbhav Bhavet."

This is a prayer for all --- may all lead a life of bliss and may each one of us lead a healthy life. It inspires us to look only for the good in others. With noble thoughts towards all others around you, it promises you a life filled with peace and happiness.

I have personally started repeating this verse many times throughout the day to keep my thoughts and actions positive and wholesome. What you do for others or say to others comes back to you many folds. There is a lot to gain by focusing your mind on the positive qualities of everyone you meet. A few points are furnished below ---

1. What you focus on grows!

Yes, when you appreciate fine qualities in the other person, you unconsciously emulate these qualities. As you think about them, you inadvertently absorb them in your personality. They become a part of you --- your improved self!

2. You become less judgmental of others

When you habitually start looking for all that is good in others, your body language, questions that you seek to ask etc. all revolve around elevating the person in front of you. You leave people better than they were before. As a result, they will desire more of your company.

3. You attract successful and talented people towards yourself

Read the following quote ---
"If you hang out with four millionaires, you’re bound to be the fifth."

True, the company you keep says everything about you. When you are with the right people, you will also come across right opportunities. Your knowledge will grow and exchanging your ideas with them will open new frontiers for learning further and updating your skills. Most of all, you will imbibe the right attitude from the stalwarts around you. And… attitude is everything in life.

4. Great minds discuss ideas

Looking for the good in others will change the way you think or converse with others. You will seldom fancy the desire to discuss people unless it is for highlighting their attributes. You will never think of belittling others. Lot of time and energy will be saved for creative pursuits, constructive work and innovative ideas for you to act upon. You will be part of a positive team, working in one direction, trying to explore ways that benefit one and all.

As an individual too, you will have peace of mind, satisfaction and happiness in life, leading a fulfilling life in a positive space. The urge to criticize others or harbouring any other biases against them will cease to find place in the garden of your mind.

5. You will be at a high frequency to attract all that you desire

When you are positive, you exude strong vibrations from your persona. You will find yourself smiling most of the time, thinking good and prayerful thoughts. You will lead a virtuous life and shun negative qualities such as jealousy, compassion, revenge, anger, hate etc. You will be successful in cultivating a meditative and peaceful mind --- ideal for any creative pursuit. Equanimity of mind and perpetual joy will be your permanent accomplices and negative energies won’t affect you anymore. You will be amongst the crowd and yet peaceful and happy within. You will be empowered because all your joy will have its source within you. Nothing from the outside will have the power to perturb you because of your faith in the Almighty and your own inner resilience.

True, the little things that we ignore are actually the big things of life. We are forever competitive and anxious in everyday life when all the success we desire is just a thought away!

THIS MOMENT, look for all that is good around you. THIS MOMENT, be less harsh on yourself and pat yourself for all that you have been able to achieve till date --- Be thankful for everything in your life. THIS MOMENT, forgive each person who does not make you feel good and begin to look for positive people around you. You will come across assorted personalities throughout the day but your guiding light should only be focused on looking for the good qualities of everyone you meet. Try accomplishing this and observe your life change for the better!

Do read e-books by Sanchita Pandey:
'Voyage to Happiness', 'Spiritual Lessons from life' and 'Cancer to Cure'.

Blessings as a Reward

Sincerity can win hearts… for if you really care for someone, it will show! ‘You cannot love without giving’ is an apt saying. Giving need not be in material terms always. It can be much needed timely help, a show of gratitude, a pat of appreciation on the back etc. Such thoughtful gestures reiterate the fact that someone out there really loves you, thinks about you and is concerned about your welfare. From such acts of kindness, one reaps the fruit of blessings --- priceless treasure no less than magic! I call them blessings because when they work on you and your life, you stand and stare in the shimmer and enjoy the experience not understanding how they are showing up in your life.

Most famous and successful people know this and have experienced the magic of blessings. One common thing about all of them is that they really respect their parents and grandparents which shows that they are also caring and kind. And kindness is what you require for elevating your pedestal in life! Why? Because it brings blessings to you.  Shah Rukh Khan always mentions his mother in his interviews as a very hard working person remembering her fondly years after her demise. His words cement the beautiful relationship they must have shared with each other. Priyanka Chopra has her mother as a perpetual company in studios or travel or any grand celebration. There are many examples which will cross your mind. From many siblings of a family, the kindest one --- blessed by parents and elders makes a mark in his/her chosen field. This is blessing at work!

Here is an anecdote from my life. My grandmother used to get up at 4 O’Clock in the morning. One day she mentioned casually how cold the water is when she rinses her mouth in the morning. I overheard this and the next morning when I got up early for my studies, I quietly walked into her bathroom before she got up, and placed a mug of lukewarm water for her! The first day she was pleasantly surprised and blessed me, a student at that time, that I would have ample warm water wherever I went in life. 

And lo! The geyser literally follows me everywhere I go! After my marriage, a new rule for furnishing our houses was passed officially in my husband’s organization! The geyser was the first fitting in our house! Our next shifting introduced us to a larger-than-needed geyser, the previous inmates had left for unknown reasons. Now we have a duplex house with three bathrooms, all pre-fitted with geysers. There is one in the kitchen too --- all preinstalled by the organization. The sight of a geyser reminds me of my grandma's blessings.

Here is another significant incident of my career as an author. My mother went around the garden for her evening walk praying incessantly for my manuscripts to be published. I did not have belief in myself but she said that she used to visualize how she was holding my books in her hands and reading them! Her words (blessings) came true and today I am ready for the publication of my fourth book --- unbelievable but true! Yes, some things are better left as magic and cannot be explained. This magic can also be called as ‘blessings’ of your elders, parents and well-wishers.

If you too desire this magic in your life, start with sincerely showing love and respect to your parents. Value this treasure you have been given the opportunity to take care of, take out time for them, give exclusive time to talk to them, call them on phone during the day to show you think about them even during work, show your gratitude for everything they have been able to do for you --- know that a parent always tries his best to give you a comfortable life and this comes with umpteen sacrifices you don’t even know about. Smile at them, offer them tea, take them out for a stroll and introduce them proudly in your neighbourhood… Discuss things that make them happy. Be polite and never argue with them even if you think that you know better. They have limited energy, let them conserve it. Discuss topics that they love to engage in to energize their soul. See that they dress up well in colourful clothes and have comfortable shoes to wear. And take them for regular health check-ups… your sincerity will win you real love and magical blessings which will remind you of them every moment even many years after they are gone because of all the abundance around you --- possible only when you have been blessed by someone you loved and who loved you a lot in return--- enough to create magic for a lifetime! 

Books by Sanchita Pandey: Voyage to Happiness, Cancer to Cure, Spiritual Lessons from Life (Available on Kindle, e-books and paperback editions)

The Universe is listening!

It is not about reading books that changes your life. You have to follow the good you have learnt from the book and bring it into practice in everyday life till it becomes a habit. Habits make your character and character carves your destiny… and lives change for the better! It is not sufficient to be a fan or follower of a famous or great personality. You can pay your highest regards to your idol by following and learning his qualities you appreciate so much. This will require awareness and practice and may even take time but that is true love and respect. 

I was editing the manuscript of my next book when I found myself reeling under tension for a small issue. And just then there was a change of mind when I read my own lines in the book! Just one thought and everything seemed so easy and clear. No tension and life seemed easy and happy once again! Hey! Isn’t it true that we do not have to take all our problems and think of solving them ourselves --- even the very trivial ones. Well, if it is making you uncomfortable or intimidating you in any way, take a break and just outsource it to the Almighty. Forget it and move on. Another way is to ask the Universe, talk to it in detail and clarify all that you want to happen. Again, forget it! You will reap all the benefits at the right time!

Now, this may seem either too easy or too difficult to believe. If it is too easy, try it! If it is too challenging for belief, I can furnish an example where this worked well for me! My daughter’s teeth on the upper jaw were quite misaligned and a visit to the dentist meant to begin preparing ourselves for extraction of two teeth on the upper jaw to make space for the other teeth to align well. This seemed difficult for me and I could not gather enough courage to convince my daughter to get braces and later enjoy displaying a perfect smile.

The braces were nonetheless set but we would have to make up our mind for teeth extraction. In one of her tuition classes, I met her friend and while conversing with her, just appreciated her shining and white teeth, all so beautiful and straight. I wished in my mind how beautiful it would feel if my daughter’s teeth too were so straight. I looked towards the sky and just asked for it from the sky and the sun and trees… whatever made up the Universe. Well, time passed and after lot of cajoling, when I finally accompanied my daughter to visit the dentist for tooth extraction, there was surprise waiting for both the doctor and patient. All the teeth had aligned perfectly on their own and there was no need for any extraction! This was quite unbelievable but true nonetheless. Well, Universe did intervene and made us comfortable and very happy indeed! Yes, prayer and faith can work wonders.

A few moments back I was getting agitated thinking about my gardener who had not heeded many of my requests concerning our garden. At one point of time, moments ago, I even decided to fire him till I read a few lines from the manuscript of my own soon-to-be-published book! Well, suddenly I shifted to thinking positive and all tension was gone. Why did I have to solve all my problems on my own? I outsourced my anxiety to the Universe and told it in detail what kind of garden I wanted --- one with carpet-like thick green grass and colorful flowers all around… and yes, the bricks painted white, laid perfectly in line…not to miss the hedge which I want to look healthy and green without any gaps in between. And guess what, the Universe is listening and I am waiting for my beautiful garden to be presented to me sometime soon! Wish you good luck in your own beautiful journey called life. I know for sure that if you will ask, you will surely receive! So, ask! …and wait to receive with gratitude…

Sanchita Pandey is the author of books like 'Voyage to Happiness', 'Cancer to Cure' and 'Spiritual Lessons from Life'. Read them on Kindle or download e-books on your mobile/computer. You can also order paperback editions from Amazon.com

Take Charge of Your Life

Today a very pertinent quotation caught my attention. It said, ’’If you are giving someone your best and it’s not enough, then you are giving it to the wrong person.’’ We have always been taught to love even our enemies. Gandhian philosophy revolves around showing your other cheek if someone slaps you! Well, with times, we have to keep realigning our beliefs according to the environment around us.

Your Thoughts Have Impact on Your Health

It has now been proved that our thoughts are responsible for our health. Alter your thoughts and you can change your life! Yes, this is true. Every action --- good or bad, finds its source in our thoughts first. If we program our mind to think only positive thoughts throughout the day, be in the company of positive people and ignore the negative things we come across all through the day, we can remain more energetic and happy.  

                                                                                   

What if the Problem Walks to Us?

Generally, you attract people and situations according to your thoughts. My friend was always a good natured and shy girl and she got married into a family where her husband was the only son --- educated and sophisticated. She enjoys enough freedom and personal space and cherishes the fact that she has ample time for pursuing her hobbies and learning new skills when her husband is busy in office. 

As opposed to this, one of my neighbours was into the habit of discussing people and colony politics, bitching about them and deliberating on every minute detail she knew about them. As an adult, she got married into a family comprising of finicky and mean members even she could not outsmart! It took her many years of patience, sulking and brooding after which her married life normalized gradually --- not before her daughter grew up and they shifted to their own house. She still regrets the loss of wonderful years of her life with her husband as a newlywed couple.

Why Be Bogged Down by Any Situation?

We know that another way to tackle a situation is not to be overwhelmed by it. If we are not affected by a situation, what impact can it have on us? Similarly, we can learn to ignore people we do not like. However, another aspect of this predicament is that if it is an acquaintance or a relative/family member we have to face, then what? We cannot run away from certain situations and some people.

Mr. Kumar takes control of everything going on around him --- in his house or his office. Give others a chance, and they will prefer to run away from him! His presence is like being confined to a prison for all those who are sitting around him. He has the habit of commenting negatively on anything and everything on this earth. He can condemn your dress or censure you from speaking at all. He may praise someone or disapprove of someone --- all at the same time. He is judgmental of others and of himself. While he will give you least marks for your work, he remembers to assess himself as being the best and foremost in everything he does --- even his new failed experiments in writing and drawing! 

Mr. Kumar is such a perfectionist that he cannot rely on you to carry your tea cup to the kitchen lest you may drop it! You are always alerted as to how far you can go anywhere in his house, how many times you have to wash your hands for even thinking to get up from his posh sofa. Well, his eyes will generate your report card as to how rustic you actually are and how much remains for you to learn still! Tell me, do you adjust with such a person or call the shots?

Love and Respect Yourself 

We must respect ourselves for everything we are. Let us not spend our lives trying to please people who are unhappy themselves. Let each one us take care of himself first before lending a hand to support others. If it is a one way traffic where only you exude love and the other person does not even bother about your feelings, it is time to take notice and stop deceiving yourself. Who will take care of you if you fall sick? Ignore the negativity and involve yourself with positive occupations like yoga, walking or gym and other hobbies you enjoy doing and always be happy. Stress and negative thinking sucks away our energy making us tired too soon. 

                                                                       

Enjoy Freedom in Life

The biggest gift that you have in life is your good health and freedom. If you find anyone impinging on your freedom of movement, encroaching upon your way of thinking or intruding your personal space to limit you from carrying out your daily chores, you should explain to him once but never compromise on these fronts. Takers do not stop at one thing and want more and more from others. You must stand for yourself, speak for yourself and assert where you feel is needed. Assertion is different from getting angry, It is being in control and being in charge of each word you are deliberately (not carelessly) speaking. Know what you want, know what you like, love yourself and do not stop soaring till you know for sure that the path you have taken is the right one.

Spirituality Empowers You

I got exasperated with a gentleman who in the middle of the conversation abruptly cut short to say ‘bye’ and ended the phone call! Another acquaintance called up at uncomfortable hours such as dinner time or midnight just to connect on video and say hello to all my family members. Both are extreme cases either displaying scant respect for others or being so self-centered that they do not care if you feel offended. There are a few self-invited guests too who love to visit you after every doctor’s appointment. They don’t bother to check if you are busy; Your presence at home is enough invitation for them!

Well, how do you tackle such people in your daily life? You are torn between acting spiritual and being true to yourself. My experience has been that right from the beginning, it is always better to be true to the person that you are. Spirituality does not intend to make you a door mat. It makes you more assertive and clear in your mind. We need to understand that it is important to keep our peace of mind intact too. 

                                                                             

                              Do Read 'Voyage to Happiness' available on Amazon.in

Hence, I feel, it is not always possible to love everyone. Yes, it is possible ‘not to hate’ anyone. You can ignore or show disapproval to people who do not elevate you, try to use you or just annoy you. Don’t go further ahead into such a relationship. There is no question of diplomacy in such a scenario. While you are yourself not disturbing and bothering others, you are wholesome on yourself by not letting or allowing them to bother you. 

Goodness remains. The shift is only concerning being good towards your own self. You must acknowledge and respect your judgment about others and send out a clear message to the other person as to your disapproval of his selfish behaviour. No diplomacy this! And you save yourself much time and botheration too. True, times have changed and it is time to ring in the new --- for a hassle free and happy life. Someone has rightly said, ’’You can’t always be nice. That’s how people take advantage of you. Sometimes you have to set boundaries.’’

Why Does the Other Side Always Look Greener!

Most of us find that the grass is greener on the other side. If you watch closely, you will find that you are in the midst of opportunities and the best of talented people. Only we have been too busy to look closely and appreciate or we are unaware and going on our own journey so fast that we are always too preoccupied to 'see' anything new and beautiful. 

                                                           

                 

To learn, we first have to drop our preconceived notions. We have to empty our cup of mind to fill in new ideas. We have to see from different perspectives to understand what the other person is suggesting. To explain simply, we have joy inside us while we keep looking for it outside in the form of parties and holidays. We seldom sit with our own selves while we keep calling others for interaction! 

Little moments have to be enjoyed for a more fulfilling life. But in reality, we keep missing these and focus on the larger picture! You do not appreciate the little chores your wife does for you, you do not thank the little boy who brings tea for you in office, you just passed by the most beautiful flower as you were rushing for office and you seemed not to bother to say 'goodbye' when the little hand waved at you... and you think you are working hard for your family!

My friend Reema's mother has come to visit them after a couple of years. Since Reema returns from her school late in the afternoon, she has a much needed nap till 6.00 O'clock in the evening. When her husband returns from office, they go out for marketing etc. Imagine how much time she is spending with her own mother! Can these golden moments be brought back when after some years the young couple realize their folly. Take out time to sit and converse with your near and dear ones. Remember, you will never be totally free in your life --- even after you retire! 

When we landed in Jamshedpur, the steel city of India, from day one I could not stop appreciating the place for its greenery, the state-of-the-art stadiums, wonderful hospital for employees where they could avail of medical treatment free of cost, planned roads and the legendary figure of JRD Tata behind the very making of Jamshedpur. I was in awe and gratitude for what JRD Tata had gifted to the people here --- the steel factory, educational institutions and an extremely good standard of living and sanitation. When you are in gratitude for what you have, you are given more, you are blessed more. 

Don't be Oblivious of your Diamond!

Look around, look well. There are any number of opportunities waiting for you --- from helping others to thanking others, from elevating spirits to doing good work just where you are sitting right now. Avail of these opportunities and see yourself growing in stature as well as in joy. It is in giving that you receive. It is in loving that you are loved. 

Big things get done when the little things are taken care of. Slog the small stuff to make a big impact! One of our neighbours was habituated to finding fault with everything wherever he went. He has changed 3 places in three years and has also spent a handsome amount for moving from one place to another. Count your blessings always. Make it a point to lay your eyes on the good that is present and be thankful for it. 

Mr. Mehta was not very highly qualified. However, he made it a point to keep updating himself and kept learning. He attended evening college, correspondence courses etc. and kept on adding to his educational qualifications. He stuck to one place and found out ways to shine where he lived and worked. Today, he owns a big house and has a good bank balance. He did not waste much time and money moving from one place to another. 

Your Thoughts make your Life 

Travelling to a very famous shrine, when I gave alms to a beggar which fell short of what he had expected, he started hurling abuses at me! I got terrified and perturbed by his rebukes. Sitting in the famous religious place was not enough to learn to think well. You had to imbibe the goodness of the place and be open to learn spirituality for right thinking and a loving life. The beggar had learnt neither.

My grand ma told me a story about two ladies --- a house wife and a prostitute living close by. The prostitute looked towards the family and always wondered how happily they must be living, how the lady was fortunate enough to cook for her husband and have her own kids... The house wife had wandering thoughts about what beautiful dresses the prostitute wore, how she entertained her customers and what a carefree life she was living...When they died, the prostitute went to heaven and the housewife was put into hell! The reason was that though the prostitute was placed in adverse circumstances, her thoughts were pure. She appreciated a pure and loving life!

We too are what our thoughts have made of us. This is why you must have heard about how so many people have been able to heal themselves through right and positive thoughts, meditation and exercise. We are all magnets and are attracting into our lives what we visualize and bring forth in our thoughts first! 

                                          
                                                                    

                                                  

Buy and Gift the book 'Cancer to Cure' 

to Patients undergoing treatment for cancer. 

Inspire them!

          

My book 'Cancer to Cure' was not approved by any publisher. However, I always visualized that it was in my hands in paperback form and I was gifting it to my mother who was eagerly awaiting to receive and read it in print form. Today, her dream has turned into reality! What's more, my second book is awaiting publication! Thoughts become reality and trust me it is true.

Bloom where you are Planted! 

Instead of trying to make happiness a onetime affair during summer vacations when you travel out of station, make it a routine affair. This is what you are working for! Your life must have smiles, laughter, happiness and joy 24x7. For this, you have to recognize the diamond moments scattered all around you. Seize them and enjoy them --- gift flowers to bring that glittering smile on someone's face, appreciate good work of others, say 'thank you' next time for every small deed any one does for you. In short, be kind and be good and the diamond of joy is yours. Thank you!